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TFTC – Top Ten List- I’m an A**hole!

by on February 17, 2016

Greetings!

To help get your minds off of dreams about ships, Dreamchasers and Arwen, here is a look the lighter side.

Last we looked at what Peter Jackson would do to our beloved game here.

This time I am drawing inspiration from grief and Brandon from COTR (Cardboard of the Rings) fame. No this is not a rehashing of the Grief deck, where you intentionally try to annoy your fellow players. Instead, let’s all draw from something (or someone) we have all experienced before.

The A**hole Guy.

You know the guy. He’s the one who shows up and uses your tokens and drops them everywhere. He borrows your cards and eats food at the same time. He never returns your attachments at the end of the game.He will immediately point out everything that you do wrong and laugh. He always makes sure he gets to use his unique cards, and you better bet you know where Steward of Gondor is going.

He is selfish, ungrateful, inconsiderate, and sometimes you think he just does this for his own amusement.

He is basically this guy (NSFW):

 

…. and this is his story.

Here we go. Cue the guitar:

LOTR LCG A**hole

I’m just a regular Joe with his LOTR cards
I’m your average gaming nerdy slob
I like Aragorn and Glorfindel and Tolkiens books on the whole

I play in my basement on my nice hardwood floor
My cards, my tokens, my sleeves in my car
I have everything I need right on Octagon

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a gamer like me interested
(oh no)
No Way
(uh-uh)

No, I’ve gotta go out and have fun
At someone else’s expense
(oh yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
….
I plan really slow in a Race Against the Shadow game
While players behind me are going insane…

I’m an A**hole…and here are my:

download (7).jpg

Top Ten A**hole things to do in LOTR LCG

 

Honourable Mention: Before you Secrecy friend has a chance to plan, play down Seeing Stone, grab a Deep Knowledge, draw into Legacy of Numenor, and then use Grima to drop Saruman into play

 

“Boom. Don’t worry, Resourceful is still a good card”

10. Tell buddies you have healing covered and slap down a few Self-Preservations on your guys

 

self-preservation

 

 

 

“I am NOT the healing Nazi…but no healing for you!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Refreshing at 46 threat a piece play down a quick Deep Knowledge before using Loragorn to send yours down to 29

 

aragorn

 

 

 

“Whoops..my bad on that Deep Knowledge. Ah well. Refresh Action!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

8. Seeing a bunch of Sentinels on the board, Player One commits all cards to the quest. Quickly commit all your Sentinels as well to make sure you clear this active location:

 

the-front-gate

 

 

 

“Sorry bro but we really need the progress this round. Take them undefended :)”

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Sitting with 15 cards in your hand, ignore Glorfindel without his Light Of Valinor while you use Beravor to hunt down your third copy of Daeron’s Runes

 

daerons-runes

 

 

“Hey man I really need these 15 cards in my hand. I promise once I get this last one played there are no more in my deck and I got you. Next time.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. Refuse to cancel 1st round Exhaustion for buddy playing a hobbit deck since he ignored your advice to mulligan

 

exhaustion

 

 

“I told you to mulligan for Bill The Pony. This is the only way you will learn.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Play Power of Orthanc targeting buddies’ Glorfindel with Light of Valinor so you can play your copy on Legolas

 

power-of-orthanc

 

 

 

“Why don’t you remove my Caught in a Web and we will call it even?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Sitting at 40 threat and seeing your Citadel Plated out Gimli, buddy is shocked when you too refuse to optional this guy:

 

umbar-assassin

 

 

 

“I really need to save him for some undefended attacks of 12”

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Show up with hero line up of Gandalf, Leadership Boromir and Aragorn to a 4 player game. Include no sideboard.

 

xf0j6

2. Casually discard Renewed Friendship to Eowyn after buddy has given you a Steward of Gondor

 

renewed-friendship

 

 

“I know its free but we really need the will power more”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and…

 

1. Explain that you are saving Balin’s 5 resources for Brok Ironfist when this shadow shows up for a friend

 

sleeping-sentry brok-ironfist

“I know this costs you 11 characters, but just wait until he hits the table :)”

 

…I’m an A**hole…and I’m proud of it 🙂

 

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One Comment
  1. anonim permalink

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    1 is my favourite, but the other ones are still genial

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